‘Lugmok na lugmok ako’: APAS patient shares motherhood journey after 3 miscarriages


“Have faith. Kung para sa inyo, ibibigay ‘yan ni Lord.”

That’s the statement of a millennial mom from Cavite after she gave birth to her first child after experiencing three miscarriages.

30-year-old Racheline Sarabia was diagnosed with APAS or Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome.

According to Mayo Clinic, APAS is a condition in which the immune system mistakenly creates antibodies that attack tissues in the body making it difficult for a woman to bear a child.

“First pregnancy ko po is November 2021, then nakunan din ako ng November 2021. Then nasundan po ‘yung baby ko po ng February [2022] Then nakunan po ulit ng April 2022. Nag-start po ako ng family planning po no’n, sabi ko nga po ayoko po munang mabuntis kasi nga medyo heartbreaking po ‘yun. Na-pregnant po ako ng January 2023. Naging ectopic pregnancy naman po siya,” Sarabia told The Philippine STAR.

Since her first miscarriage, Sarabia made sure to visit and consult a specialist amid her condition. She admitted that her situation tested her mental health.

“Nung time na ‘yon talagang wala po ako sa sarili, mga friends ko hindi ko na rin po masyadong narereply-an. Talagang lugmok na lugmok ako na, ‘Bakit ako?’” she noted.

In June 2023, she received good news that changed her life.

“Itong fourth pregnancy ko po, wala rin po sa plano talaga, naka-family planning po ako that time pero ‘yun, nga po binigay din po talaga siya ni Lord,” she stressed.

“Gusto ko siyang i-keep pero parang natatakot po ako na paano ‘pag nawalan na naman siya ng heartbeat? Paano kapag kinuha na naman siya ni Lord? Nandun po ‘yung takot tsaka excitement po pero at the same time,  pinu-push ko po na magpa-checkup,” she added.

Sarabia kept her pregnancy to herself and decided not to tell her partner and her family immediately.

Recalling, “Tinago ko po siya sa parents ko, sa kanya. ‘Yung OB ko lang po tsaka ako po ‘yung nakakaalam, hanggang 12 weeks po. Tsaka po ‘yung adopted [child] ko po. ‘Yung cravings ko po kine-keep ko lang sa’kin.Natatakot po kasi ako na sabihin po or aminin pa kasi baka ma-disappoint na naman po kapag hindi natapos ‘yung first trimester namin na hindi po siya maging okay.”

Sarabia made sure to be healthy and fit for their “miracle baby.” She took 10 different medicines and supplements all throughout the pregnancy.

“First week pa lang po ng pregnancy ko po is mataas na po ‘yung blood sugar ko. So seven weeks pa lang po, nagte-take na po ako ng insulin. Pinaturukan na rin po ako ng tinzaparin tapos pinainom na rin po ako ng aspirin. Basta marinig ko lang po ‘yung heartbeat niya sobrang parang, ‘Push ko na ‘to.’ Lagi po akong nagpe-pray na, marinig ko lang po ‘yung heartbeat niya, lumalakas po ‘yung loob ko,” she shared.

She gave birth to their baby girl, Zamiel Miracle Ace, on February 3, 2024.

“Sobrang saya po lalo po no’ng binigay na po siya sa’kin. Kahit po no’ng nasa operating room pa lang po, inilapag nga po siya sa’kin, pina-latch po sobrang parang ayaw ko na nga pong ibigay. Talagang sabi ko, ‘Thank you Lord na andito siya, kumpleto, walang complications, okay po siya.’ Sobrang saya ko po talaga,” she said in teary eyed.

Janelle Lorzano
Janelle Lorzano
Janelle Lorzano likes long walks on the seaside and listening to people about their lives. When she isn't writing, she travels and discover new places.