Filipina model and socialite Heart Evangelista couldn’t help but become emotional as she opened up about being labeled “toxic” when dealing with her personal struggles.
This came after the controversy surrounding the strained relationship between Heart and her former glam team, Justin Louise Soriano and Jeck Aguilar, resurfaced in recent days following their inability to accompany Heart’s assistant, Khino Ocenar, and talent handler, Cheska Summer, to Dubai for an event with Miss Philippines 2015 Pia Wurtzbach.
In Heart’s recent YouTube vlog uploaded on January 25, 2024, the celebrity influencer became emotional while discussing past toxic relationships.
Conversations with makeup artist and hairstylist Ghil Sayo, Sparkle GMA Artist Center assistant manager Ira Lesaca, and former managing editor of Cosmopolitan Philippines Retty Contreras, among others, delved into the struggles Heart faced with her former associates whose names were not disclosed.
Heart expressed frustration with being labeled “toxic” and recounted how they affected her emotionally.
“Whenever I get problems, like personal problems, I couldn’t even be in a bad mood because they would make me feel like I’m so [toxic],” she said.
“So ngayon, kahit I try to be happy, I try… even if I have my own problems, I try to not be selfish… But I’m only human and I’m really tired,” shared Heart.
She continued, “You know, I’m really tired of overthinking, I’m tired of thinking about what other people, you know? What other people… I hate it.”
“And at the same time, you feel like you’re a bad person so you deserve it. Because you feel, like, because you’re problematic, you’re toxic to everybody, ‘yung ganun.”
She acknowledged the coping mechanism was showing up “bubbly” despite personal issues, while emphasizing that her problems were personal and unrelated to her former team.
“I mean, I’m trying to entertain na nga din kasi ‘yun ‘yung way ko of getting over it. Overcompensating ako kasi alam ko, may problem ako personally. So ako, ‘Anong gusto niyong gawin ngayon?’,” Heart questioned over how she copes with her own problems.
“Mas bubbly pa ako before, kasi pina-fight ko yung mga personal problems ko,” she said.
“I mean, I know my problem wasn’t really a good problem. I really was going through tough times at the time. But di naman… it had nothing to do with them naman,” Heart admitted, recalling past incidents.
Despite her emotional distress, Heart’s friends, including Retty and videographer Julius, provided reassurance.
Retty assured Heart that her feelings were valid but reminded her that those individuals were no longer a part of her life. However, Heart disclosed the lingering emotional impact, stating that they tainted her inner joy and carefree personality.
“But now that I’m alone, it’s really not about other people, you know? It’s about, like, they really destroyed my inner joy and my… how bubbly I was, how I was so carefree, you know? And I’m still struggling because parang I wish I wouldn’t have to see them,” Heart lamented over her past working relationships.
“But parang dinumihan nila yung part ng area kung saan ako nagtatrabaho, nandiyan sila,” the former actress described the effect of their falling out.
Heart expressed ongoing struggles, wishing not to encounter her former team and lamenting their removal of collaborative content from their shared Instagram accounts. She revealed feeling hurt by the deletion and questioned whether she was truly a bad person.
“You know what he did? He took out all of our collaborations together. Like, what did I do to you? You were the one that… parang ganon ba ako kasama?” Heart reflected over her former associates’ actions against her.
She continued, “‘Yung parang, so pati ako, napapa-question ako, ‘Masama yata akong tao.’ Pati ba naman ‘yun, galit na galit ka? Ano bang ginawa ko?”
Retty reminded Heart that people change, saying, “People change. People evolve. You also have the right to change at the moment.”
Julius also spoke about Heart’s “power to choose” who surrounds her and the significance of forgiveness, emphasizing its impact on personal peace of mind.
“They’re part of your nightmares that happened. Pero, you also have the power to choose if you want to think about it or you want to think about the people here,” Julius told Heart.
In a candid moment, Heart admitted that she was not yet at a point of forgiveness, revealing the lasting damage inflicted by her former associates.