TW: This article contains graphic details of child sexual abuse.
In an emotional revelation, content creator Sachzna Laparan recounted her childhood trauma when she was molested by a distant relative at the age of five.
The young woman became emotional as she shared a dark chapter of her life during an interview with Toni Gonzaga, which was streamed on Gonzaga’s YouTube channel.
According to the actress, she resided in her grandparents’ home while her mother worked abroad. It was during this time that the abuser, a distant relative, took advantage of her.
Sachzna endured severe trauma when she fell victim to the abuse at a young age within the confines of her own home.
The vlogger became emotional as she recalled the disturbing acts committed against her culprit who she said was adopted by her grandparents.
“Malayo po namin siyang kamag-anak. Ang lola ko, sobrang bait. Inampon niya, pinag-aral niya,” Sachzna told the host.
She continued, “‘Yung lalaki parang seventeen years old nun that time. Ako naman, five years old ako. E, wala akong kaalam-alam sa bahay, kasi nga bata pa. So, kung ano ang gusto niyang ipagawa, gagawin ko.”
Sachzna detailed how she was molested several times while her grandparents were asleep. Unfortunately, her mother was also not present as she was working at the time.
“Maraming beses kasing nagagawa ‘e. Nandun yung hawak, paghipo sa private parts ko, tapos yung ari niya [pinapaano] niya sa bibig ko.
Sachzna shared the most terrifying ordeal she endured at the hands of a man which involved the culprit sneaking into her room late at night.
“Pinakahindi ko makalilimutan, connecting kasi yung room namin, may time na umakyat siya sa bubong namin tapos may bintana doon, pinapasok niya yung bintana na yon,” Sachzna narrated.
“Ako, alam ko na tuwing madaling-araw, pupunta siya sa kuwarto ko. Ako naman ang ginagawa ko, pumunta naman ako sa loob ng cabinet ko.
“Doon naman may puwang dun na parang sa movie na nakikita ko siya, na hinahanap na niya ako, tapos sasabihin niya, ‘Labas ka na.’
“Noong makita niya ako, dinala niya ako sa kama, tapos doon na niya ginagawa yung mga gusto niyang gawin sa akin,” the actress detailed the traumatic event.
At Sachzna’s tender age at the time, she was unable to confide in her family due to the man’s threats of violence if she spoke out about the abuse.
Through tears, Sachzna recounted, “Tapos siya, sinasabi niya na parang, ‘Kapag sinasabi mo ito papatayin ko yung lolo at lola mo.’ ‘E, sila lang yung meron ako nu’n, na may ipinapakita siyang kutsilyo, ganyan, kaya lalo akong natatakot. ‘Yung mama mo hindi mo na makikita,’ ganyan.”
These memories haunted her, lingering into her teenage years before she found the courage to confide in her mother.
“It was only when my family was complete that I finally spoke up. It felt like that was where I gained the strength because I knew I had allies,” she shared.
The traumatic experiences deeply affected Sachzna’s emotional and mental well-being. She revealed that she had been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, and is grappling with issues of abandonment, trust, and unstable self-image and mood.
According to WebMD, borderline personality disorder is a mental health condition characterized by difficulties in managing emotions and forming stable relationships.
Despite the ongoing challenges, Sachzna continues to focus on her healing journey, determined to overcome the scars left by her traumatic past.
The actress further mentioned that she has forgiven the person who molested her despite not receiving any apologies from him.
“Iba pa rin kapag forgiveness, hindi pa nag-sorry yung tao na yun sa akin, pero napatawad ko na siya. Panalo na ako doon. Napatawad ko na siya. Kasi feeling ko, kapag hindi ko siya napatawad, parang hindi ko rin napatawad yung sarili ko,” Sachzna said.
“Kahit hindi ka mag-sorry, napatawad na kita,” she added.
For those who wish to report sexual violence cases or seek assistance from authorities, you may contact these hotline numbers of government agencies.
National Emergency Hotline: 911
Aleng Pulis Hotline: 0919 777 7377
PNP Women and Children Protection Center
24/7 AVAWCD Office: (02) 8532-6690
Inter-Agency Council on Violence Against Women and their Children (IACVAWC): (02) 8735-1654 local 124, 09178671907, 09454558121
If you think you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, you may call the National Center for Mental Health Crisis hotline 1553, landline (02) 7-989-8727, mobile number 0966-351-4518 or HOPELINE: (02) 8804-4673.
