‘Sasabihin lang namin na we’re family, na ito tayo’: Couple proves that building a family has no gender

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Against all odds, this LGBTQIA+ couple from Lucena City is ready to build their own family!

Denzel “Denz” Batocabe, 23, and Charlene “Cha” Rivera, 28, first met at an event in 2023, where Cha works as a firefighter, while Denz is working in the events industry.

“Nasa isang event ako no’n then crowd control siya. Host ako that night, hindi ko siya nakita the whole night pero siya nasa likod ko lang, parang isang dipa lang layo namin. Gandang-ganda na siya sa’kin tapos that night, pinatanong niya rin ‘yung name ko. Sino daw ‘yung host na ‘yun. Kinabukasan, lumabas ‘yung photo niya, mga stolen shots. Shinare ko, may nag-comment na name under ng post ko, ta’s ayun ini-stalk ko na, in-add ko siya,” Denz told The Philippine STAR.

“No’ng una parang nakita ko na siya nakatalikod po sa’kin, tapos no’ng nagsasalita na po siya sa unahan, doon ko siya pinicturan. Di ko alam kung bakit ko siya pinicturan nung time na ‘yon,” Cha revealed.

Denz and Cha eventually became friends on social media. But Denz did not miss any chance to be close to her and made his first move.

“Sabi ko, ‘Paano ko siya makikita?’ Eh ‘di dapat gumawa ako ng eksena. ‘Ay may dala akong pasalubong galing akong Iloilo, galing akong Bicol.’ Bumibili ako ng pasalubong, dinadalhan ko siya. Siya naman bumibisita sa bahay, nagdadala ng pagkain, drinks, so it’s a two-way process,” he shared.

Cha courted Denz for almost three months. Their relationship became official in July 2023.

According to the couple, it was their first time to be attracted to someone in the opposite sex.

“During my OJT, I was attracted sa mga clean cut na lesbian. So no’ng na-meet ko siya naka-uniform siya,I was attracted talaga sa mga masculine na lesbian. So parang na-consider ko ‘yung sarili ko as a pansexual kasi you are attracted to somebody regardless ng gender niya,” Denz shared.

“First time niya rin ako, first time ko rin siya. So wala akong relationship na lalaki, wala rin akong girlfriend. Marami siyang previous relationships, lahat girl. Ako ‘yung first gay guy, biologically male, na naging jowa niya po,” he added.

When their respective families knew their relationship, they received positive feedback from them noting the possibility of having a grandchild.

In November 2023, they confirmed that they were expecting their first baby. Denz and Cha chose to keep the little secret to themselves for three months.

“Ay nawindang silang lahat. Nagulat ang magulang ko, ang family niya. Lahat sila they are being supportive at the same time, wala kaming narinig na negative. Normal relationship pa rin siya. Magkaiba lang kami ng gender orientation, parang papasok do’n ‘yung sinasabi nilang gender fluidity. Napapansin namin na during our relationship, minsan nagiging masculine ako, siya nagiging feminine. Lalo na ngayon may hormonal imbalance siya dahil buntis,” Denz explained.

Cha admitted that at first, she was scared to announce her pregnancy to her friends but later realized that they really wanted to build a family.

“Natakot ako syempre lalo na sa sasabihin ng friends ko. Syempre mga friends ko kagaya ko din. Eh ngayon naman wala po akong narinig sa kanilang negative,” Cha said.

Denz added, “Sinabi ko sa kanya na nabuo ‘yan ng pagmamahalan, hindi ‘yan one-night stand.”

Throughout the pregnancy, Denz stepped up as the head of their family.

“No’ng magjowa kami, ako ‘yung feminine, siya ‘yung masculine. Nung dumating si baby, ako na. Kailangan ko nang gampanan, biologically male ako so, kahit kailangan kong gampanan pa rin kasi may mga bagay na hindi niya muna pwedeng gawin,” he noted.

Cha is currently seven months pregnant and expected to give birth in June 2024.

“Mas tutuunan po namin ng pansin ‘yung bata,” Cha said.

“Ipaparanas po namin ‘yung mga bagay na hindi namin naranasan. Gusto ko sabihin sa kanya, the world is cruel, the world is unfair, the world is miserable and unpredictable and messy. So you have to be strong spiritually, mentally sa mga ibabato sa’yo, magtatanong sa’yo bakit ganyan parents mo. So bata pa lang siya, papalakasin na namin siya,” Denz said when asked about her message to their baby boy.

Janelle Lorzano
Janelle Lorzano
Janelle Lorzano likes long walks on the seaside and listening to people about their lives. When she isn't writing, she travels and discover new places.

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