John Lloyd Cruz said there’s nothing that makes him happier than being a father.
The actor opened up on fatherhood in a rare interview with TV host Boy Abunda, his first since taking an indefinite leave of absence from showbiz in 2017.
During the livestreamed chat over Kumu via FYE Channel, Boy and John Lloyd who are also good friends touched on various subjects until the former asked the latter about his current state of mind.
“Are you happy?” Boy asked John Lloyd.
The actor was at first taken aback by what he called a loaded question.
“Iba na rin routine ko ngayon Kuya Boy,” he shared.
“Wala na yatang mas liligaya pa pagka mayroon kang maliit na anak. Two years old na, ang kulit. Wala nang kasing saya. Parang ang lupit. My little savior,” he added.
He was referring to Elias Modesto, his son with Ellen Adarna.
In 2017, John Lloyd, one of ABS-CBN’s top leading men, shocked fans with the announcement that he was taking a break from showbiz.
Later on, it was reported that he was expecting a child with the Cebuana actress Ellen, his girlfriend then.
The two have since separated but are co-parenting their toddler. The actor spent the COVID-19 lockdown in Cebu City to be closer to his son.
The actor has successfully shunned the limelight except for a few film-related projects and some random photos with fans, giving the public a glimpse of what he has been up to.
When asked by Boy why he left showbiz, he hinted in his answers that it was what he needed during that time of his life.
“Parang kelangan na rin huminto at mag nilay nilay. Kelangan ng medyo dumistansya… Di ko alam. Parang para malagyan mo ulit, kelagan mo ubusin or something like that.”
He continued, “Hindi naman siya storya ng pagod. Parang at one point, you realize ang iksi pala ng buhay. So gusto mo lang somehow mabigyan kahit papaano ng halaga at atensyon yung mga bagay na… hindi mo pwede makaila, hindi mo siya made-deny eh. Kailangan mo siya gawin. Otherwise, tingin ko, ayoko naman tatanda ako, nagtataka ako, paano kung di ko sinubukan to.
“Pag-nabigyan ka ng opportunity to experience somehow knowledge or wisdom, parang irreversible na siya. Andun na siya. ‘Pag-alam mo ito ang dapat mong gawin, ito yung alam mong tama na gawin mo, lolokohin mo nalang sarili mo kung idedeny mo ang opportunity mo na magawa mo ang gusto mo gawin.”
Until now, John Lloyd admitted, he found it difficult to articulate the things that happened to him these past five years so much so he’d rather continue discerning, listening and remaining mum for now.
“Nakakaubos iyong dine-demand ng ganitong trabaho. And bilang creator gusto mong makapagbigay lagi ng something worth their time. And kung ubos ka, medyo mahihirapan kang ma-deliver iyon kasi wala nang bagong laman iyong utak mo — wala ka nang maibibigay na tingin ko will be worth their time, kung sino man yung sumusunod sayo Kumbaga nakakahiya na lang din na hindi mabigyan ng importansya yung mga sandali, na wala nga eh,” he said.
Boy readily echoed John Lloyd’s words and reflected: “Minsan nauubusan ka. You have to rebuild, restore, kelangan mag ipon uli para sumayaw uli…”
John Lloyd agreed, indicating that he wanted to do something different from the usual.
“Para manginig ka uli, parang kabahan ka uli. Siguro yun. Yung kaba was very vital. Iba pa rin ‘pag maka-encounter ka ng works na parang mabobobo ka, argh ano to? Somehow, ‘pag tumatagal ka na, siguro parang naghahanap ka (ng iba).”
Nevertheless, he said it’s also time to work although he stressed that he continued doing films while on a hiatus from his network job.
John Lloyd recently filmed Lav Diaz’s Servando Magdamag, which is based on the 1970 short story of Ricky Lee.
A picture with Brightlight Productions boss Albee Benitez on Saturday suggested that he is also going to work with the TV5 blocktimer.
Watch Boy’s full interview below: